People Who Hurt

Published June 21, 2026

It was people that hurt me, it wasn't God, though
I let the church trauma turn into a God wound
I learned the Western world has twisted up the Scriptures, so when I re-enlisted
I learned the Eastern context the way that Jesus meant it
My peace has been cemented, my soul has been re-lifted
My deconstruction ended; reconstruction is beginning…

— from “Deconstruction” by Lecrae 

In his book, With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God, Skye Jethani describes a way of living with God that stands in contrast to more dominant models: “with” versus “over, under, from, and for.” I can’t go into them all here, but I’d highly recommend the book. It addresses a central problem in spiritual formation: poor discipleship models that leave people discouraged and cynical about their relationship with God. 

The cure? A better way of relating to God, being with HIm as a way of life. Jethani isn’t offering a new idea. He’s mediating a long and fruitful tradition to us, one that’s fallen out of fashion in the Western Church. Across the centuries, from Bernard of Clairvaux and Julian of Norwich to Brother Lawrence, Teresa of Ávila, Andrew Murray, and Eugene Peterson, we see what Jethani is writing about: the beauty of what a life with God shapes in the ordinary Christian.

In Lacrae’s lyrics above, we see in the rawness of his words the pain and frustration of flawed models. The song is a work of art, and in my opinion, Lacrae stands in that line above, tracing from Barnard through Peterson. As he writes:

You can still find your way, find your way
Find your way, find your way
Find your way back home
When you feel too far gone
He can still find you

Notice the deft twist at the end. Do we find God, or does He find us? The answer, of course, is “Yes.” 🙂

Throughout the summer, hundreds of kids will be attending B4’s camps (Soccer, Middle/High School, and Day Camp), hopefully finding God, and being found in the process. Like Lacrea, many of them will be hurting, often behind smiles, wiggles, and excited energy. Many of their parents will be as well, hidden by masks of fragile competence. 

How do I know that? As St. Paul writes:

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. — Romans 8:22-23

Paul’s seminal comment on the condition of Creation and the place of prayer nestle neatly within a tradition of life with God. He’s not talking about people who don’t know God or live with Him. His readers have “...the first fruits of the Spirit.” He’s talking about us, God’s people. He wants to fortify us. 

We find similar lament and longing in prayers throughout the Psalms. And the only balm is the God who will come, be with us, and hold us as we trust and wait upon Him. In his book, Jethani unpacks a helpful model of prayer from the aforementioned Teresa of Ávila. It’s built around the metaphor of watering a garden and unfolds in four stages.

  1. Water Drawn from a Well: The Prayer of Deliberate Effort
    This is the beginning stage of prayer. We exert ourselves to gather attention, fight distraction, meditate on Scripture, and intentionally place ourselves before God. It is laborious and disciplined, often fraught with frequent distractions (internal and external). It uses reason, imagination, and intentional reflection. This is necessary foundational work. (Luke 18:1)

  2. Water Wheel and Buckets: Prayer Aided by the Spirit
    This is where God begins to help, which is why we begin most nights by leaning into Him. Prayer still requires effort, but the Spirit’s assistance becomes more noticeable. Prayer feels less exhausting. We experience more joy and less striving. God begins to gather us to Himself, as prayer shifts from “I must make this happen” to “I am learning to cooperate.” (Philippians 2:13)

  3. A Stream or Brook: Prayer that Flows Naturally
    Prayer becomes more effortless and spontaneous. It rests upon a deep communion with God that begins to carry us. We will often sense a deepening affection for God. Our prayer features greater peace and simplicity, where we are less dependent on techniques or formulas. We notice an interior life that’s full of the Spirit’s fruit. This might be a helpful analogy; It feels like being a bird carried by the wind. (Psalm 1:3

  4. Rain from Heaven: Where God Waters the Garden
    This is where prayer becomes primarily about God’s action upon us rather than arising from our efforts, even those aided by Him in some fashion. Our souls are at rest, soaking in God’s presence and love. This kind of prayer is often silent and sub-verbal. It features little or no striving, only deep surrender. It feels like a simple, quiet enjoyment of God, where what we pray is received from Him. We stop carrying water because the gentle rain of God’s Word has come upon us, and it bears His will. (Isaiah 55:10-11)

This is where prayer becomes primarily about God’s action upon us rather than arising from our efforts, even those aided by Him in some fashion. Our souls are at rest, soaking in God’s presence and love. This kind of prayer is often silent and sub-verbal. It features little or no striving, only deep surrender. It feels like a simple, quiet enjoyment of God, where what we pray is received from Him. We stop carrying water because the gentle rain of God’s Word has come upon us, and it bears His will. (Isaiah 55:10-11)

Sometimes we will pray out loud with deliberate effort. Other times, we will sit with the gentle rain (or reign 🙂) of God’s loving care on behalf of our brothers and sisters. So, let’s begin to notice how we’re praying as much as what we’re praying, guided by Teresa’s hard-won wisdom.

Love ya! Pastor Steve

NO 9AM SERVICE ON JULY 5TH
Join us for ONE service only at 11am, followed by our first B4 Summer Social —featuring food, music, games, kids’ activities, and spend time in community!
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